It’s kinda funny how life works sometimes. Around this time last year, my dog had just died, my long-term relationship had bitten the dust about six months earlier but was still a massive ball of angst in my gut and I was preparing to go into hospital for surgery. My life resembled a country & western song. :P
Turn the clock forward about a year and things are looking very different. I find myself in love like I’ve never been before in my life. I still marvel everyday at the way she makes me feel. I am so grateful to the universe for giving me this opportunity and I’m thankful for everyday that I get to experience feeling this good about existing. Feeling this way is somewhat new ground for me and it isn’t easy and it isn’t simple but it is worth it.
So, as I stride forth into the second half of this year, I find myself in a rare position of contentment, perhaps a little less black around the edges (for now at least) and acutely aware of the fragility of said contentment. Realising that I have a lot of work to do to maintain this state of mind/existence but happily determined to put in the hard yards to make life work a little more in my favour.
For it and she, are definitely worth it.
Isn't it funny how sometimes you can't be arsed doing the best for yourself, that sometimes you require a proxy to do what's best for yourself. I guess we really aren't islands, aren't we, despite what our culture tells us.
ReplyDeleteYou alone are worth it, my love, all by yourself. The sooner you begin learning that the better ;)
But us together, it's worth it even more :)
I love you, Anthony.
PS: That comment sounded sort of like I was saying that you personally couldnt' be arsed doing the best for yourself. Which I know isn't entirely true because you *have* been doing the things you know you need to do over many years. I can see the reflections of it everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI guess I was just surmising out loud, about how it is easier to do something when others are involved, than it is to purely do it for ourselves sometimes :)