So...

So, just when you think you had it all sorted out, your life compartmentalised, everything nice and neat, all those little demons placated, the little man in your head chastised and in retreat.

Then along "they" come.

Everything gets turned on its head, a 180 degree mind twist and the vast safety net you have worked so hard to construct and maintain is all of a sudden the size of a postage stamp.

Even so, all those things that you have worked so hard to construct to protect yourself seem cumbersome, an unnecessary appendage that just gets in the way of experiencing "them". "Their" touch makes you feel unworthy, "their" gaze makes you self-conscious and unable to bullshit, even just to be in the same room as "them" makes your pulse nearly explode. Yet at the same time you crave both "their" touch, "their" gaze, just "their" mere presence.

Sometimes, you've just got to work without a net.

Black & White.

It seems that the older I get, the more shades of grey there are. I want black and white back. I want to be able to see the world with a more pure, unadulterated eye.

I don't want to have to look at everything with a balanced view. I don't care if my view is slanted or imperfect, just make it black and white.